i used to be fat

Lately I've been such a homebody. I'm not complaining, as it's been a nice change of pace from the typical hectic schedule of two jobs, mixed with my social life. I've grown pretty fond of cooking at home, lounging in my favorite PJ pants, and vegging out on my sofa, with my only company being a little Jack Russell Terrier. I know, I know. I've mentioned her several times in my posts, but get used to it because I sure can't help the warm fuzzies I have for her.

While Sex and the City really gets me giggling (bless E! for adding it to their lineup), I became an instant fan of another show, MTV's I Used to Be Fat. I suppose I am a new viewer of these "healthy living" shows, although I was a fan of Losing it with Jillian Michaels on NBC. I think what I really admire most is showing people in our horrifyingly overweight society, that change is possible. It's not easy, but it's possible. While these shows exploit the sweat, diets, and personal struggles of these individuals, in the end it shows how much their lives actually change, along with their bodies.

Based on comments on last night's episode found on MTV.com, I think others find the show inspiring too...

• "This was one of the best episodes. Kelly was so focused and determined about what she wanted to achieve and she did...You go girl show them how its done."
  
• "Well, the trainer did know that this was her approach to everything, which it's why he made a point of pushing it. I'm a lot like her in a lot of ways (for similar reasons). I consciously know what I should do, or what's better for me to do, but most times I still don't do it. We do need the encouragement and the shown interest in order to open up and break that barrier. He did a great job at it, gaining her trust bit by bit. And you go, Kelly! It's a struggle, but just keep at it! :)"

I was sad to see the season finale of I Used to Be Fat air last night, but I'm hoping MTV picks it back up for another season. For someone who hit a low point last spring, the show kept me motivated. That low point was when I looked in the mirror one day to see a rounder version of myself. Never owning a scale, I rushed to the store to buy one, only to see a disappointing number. For being just over five feet, I was scarily thirty pounds overweight. I hadn't even realized it, but others had. Comments like "hefty" and "fat" trickled into my ears, crushing any sort of self-esteem.

While I could have used every excuse in the book, like alcoholic beverages consumed with my girlfriends, or the boyfriend who treated me to dinner almost every night, I had to realize the real reason behind my so-called "heftiness." That reason was me. I had let myself become so unhealthy, and it was up to me to change it.

So, I did. I eased myself into cardio, which then led to six to seven days a week of intense runs. I subscribed to fitness and health magazines and bought cook books, which led to eating healthier. It was hard, and sometimes there were jumps in the scale, but I didn't let myself get defeated. It's taken nine months, but I have finally shed those gruesome thirty pounds and feel better than ever.

Perhaps, some will judge me for being all "woe is me," when others have it worse off, but I am proud of my feat. I think celebrating any and all accomplishments, no matter how big or how small, make them so much more worthwhile. I'm happy to be more confident in my skin.